So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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