You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
