i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
