omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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