But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
