we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize