Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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