i don't want you to think of me as your TA
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
