I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize