I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
