Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
