The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize