Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize