I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize