A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize