Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
