Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
