They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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