so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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