Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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