maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
