do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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