so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
