Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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