I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
where are you?
Hypothermia
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
