is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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