So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
