He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
