Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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