It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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