Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
