You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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