Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
