The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
People in love make me want to vomit
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
