I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
