thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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