I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
