so explain again why im purple
no
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
