Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
