PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
