Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
