So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize