I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Your penis caused this!
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