I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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