What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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