Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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