I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
