What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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