No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
