U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Floor bacon is actually really good
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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