I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
