:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i think my cat just said my name.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
