He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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