Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize