I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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